Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
