I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
