I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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