jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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