fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize