Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
