Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.