called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.