why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!