Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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  (540): new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/tvzk
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (1644)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You stay classy.

  (352): View more from Florida

  The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.

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  (352): I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF. (904): You stay classy. (352): The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on. http://tfl.nu/3w00
  Replies (18) Good night (854) Bad night (4739)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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  (610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf
  Replies (23) Good night (1583) Bad night (2493)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.

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  (616): every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2. http://tfl.nu/pgp8
  Replies (10) Good night (3933) Bad night (717)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.

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  (803): Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning. http://tfl.nu/55ug
  Replies (12) Good night (4526) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.

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  (502): so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked. http://tfl.nu/56pg
  Replies (15) Good night (663) Bad night (4519)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.

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  (732): I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college. http://tfl.nu/q6b4
  Replies (13) Good night (736) Bad night (3806)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf

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  (862): dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf http://tfl.nu/c2bo
  Replies (47) Good night (6965) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

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  (757): it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again http://tfl.nu/q7wy
  Replies (29) Good night (5172) Bad night (1662)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.

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  (506): oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier. http://tfl.nu/v0so
  Replies (2) Good night (2152) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.

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  (951): Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water. http://tfl.nu/p40v
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed

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  (778): i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed http://tfl.nu/9oqv
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.

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  (412): i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/djs5
  Replies (20) Good night (1443) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"

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  (859): We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free (502): Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels" http://tfl.nu/26v2
  Replies (3) Good night (1250) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....

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  (306): we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter.... http://tfl.nu/0sk3
  Replies (2) Good night (259) Bad night (533)

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