Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.

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  (215): Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT. http://tfl.nu/2ngi
  Replies (14) Good night (1921) Bad night (559)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels

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  (703): i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels http://tfl.nu/aed7
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (1359)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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  (908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs http://tfl.nu/kfrc
  Replies (19) Good night (1073) Bad night (2252)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

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  (970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute. http://tfl.nu/y17n
  Replies (40) Good night (28574) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

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  (818): why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing? http://tfl.nu/8p36
  Replies (26) Good night (1014) Bad night (3561)
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  (213): View more from California

  i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.

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  (213): i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now. http://tfl.nu/744a
  Replies (24) Good night (5780) Bad night (979)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

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  (260): It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs. http://tfl.nu/yz88
  Replies (14) Good night (1155) Bad night (4540)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.

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  (785): Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know. http://tfl.nu/7et1
  Replies (12) Good night (2435) Bad night (919)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.

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  (917): Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you. http://tfl.nu/j1py
  Replies (6) Good night (3469) Bad night (934)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.

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  (513): I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered. http://tfl.nu/5t2g
  Replies (15) Good night (3997) Bad night (969)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.

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  (417): Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there. http://tfl.nu/jea6
  Replies (8) Good night (3462) Bad night (1271)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.

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  (928): His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart. http://tfl.nu/4aul
  Replies (7) Good night (592) Bad night (2437)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.

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  (607): Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun. http://tfl.nu/atlx
  Replies (6) Good night (542) Bad night (1834)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.

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  (201): Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us. http://tfl.nu/sjtk
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (275)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation

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  (902): you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation http://tfl.nu/4hrf
  Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (475)

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