i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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