I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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