goodnight i made you a song goodbye
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
