i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
