He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
