Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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