I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
