i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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