somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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