he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
