So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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