VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
