I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
