I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
