I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
