News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
