i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
