You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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