What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
