Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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