I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
