that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
