So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
and she was petting her beer can
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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