WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize