I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
