Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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