Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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