Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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