he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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