hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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