i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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