Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
