i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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