you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
