I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
