is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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