my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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