hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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