I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
