Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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