There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
