How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
