Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
