So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
