gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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