hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
