tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
