Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
