Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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