Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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