So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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