bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
