Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
